• Joe has made hundreds of appearances in Eat-N-Park restrooms across the country.
  
  
• In his spare time, Joe enjoys sitting in a darkened room and popping large sheets of bubble packing while listening to Andy Griffith spirituals. He also enjoys watching his large collection of videos. Occasionally, he'll put one in the VCR. He'll even turn it on from time to time. One of his favorites is a special video titled, "The Very Best of the Weather Channel."
  
  
• Joe's parents boast that he was virtually a trouble free child, although they used to get upset when he would fall asleep during mass. His snoring was also very distracting to the Satanic priests. Alhough he was a good kid growing up, he continues to have a problem abusing alcohol. Just last week, Joe was seen throwing a case of beer down a flight of stairs.
  
  
• Joe is also active in politics. He is currently pushing for legislation that would force the Government to apologize for the extinction of the dinosaurs. Joe believes the United States should continue to be a leader in world affairs. He is so concerned with global harmony, that if world peace is not achieved soon, he swears he is going to beat the hell out of someone.
  
  
• Joe has set many personal goals for himself. He hopes to one day receive a lap dance from Ann B. Davis.
  
  
• Joe has been marketing his new screenplay around Hollywood, entitled, "Mickey Mouse Gets Caught in a Bread Slicer."
  
  
• In addition to being witty and clever, Joe's jokes are 99% fat free.
  
  
• Joe is a cunning and skillful hunter, as the walls in his den will attest to. He proudly displays his mounted tortoise heads on the east wall.
  
  

  Some of Joe's prized possessions include: Barry Gibb toaster cover. "Magic Eye" 3-D underwear. Golden Girls swimsuit calendar. Rock-'em Sock-'em Rabbis game. Kathy Lee Gifford dartboard. Birdhouse made entirely out of used Q-tips. Container holding all of his milk carton holder container holders. Battery operated comb. Pac-Man pajamas.

• If Joe could sum up his philosophy of life in just one word, then he would probably have a pretty simplistic and pathetic existence.
  

Joe vividly recalls the day when he realized that comedy was his destiny. He remembers lying in a field, the wind blowing through his hair, and feeling very depressed about his life.

He felt he had no talent, no skills, no future. He gazed up at the stars and prayed for guidance. He hoped for a sign that would help him find his way. Suddenly, Joe noticed a particular star that was twinkling and shining brighter than all the others. It was at that moment that he heard the voice. "Hey you! Get the hell off of my property!" So Joe went home and watched "Carlin on Campus" on HBO. It changed his life, for a week.

His parents grounded him because he was only 9 years old, and wasn't allowed to watch adult shows. But it didn't matter because Joe never went anywhere anyway. It gave him more time to play with his bubble packing.

But from that day on, he knew deep down in his heart, that one day he might consider the possibility of trying something having to do with comedy if there wasn't anything else to do, if it wasn't too hard, and if he ever got around to it. Lucky for us, he did. And his audiences have been laughing at him ever since.

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